I think yesterday might've been one of my happiest days so far this year. Why? Because I finished a plot. Finished it, done. Side plots, check. I'm so freaking HAPPY! I've never really written a thought out plot before, but now I have! And I finished the plot in about a week! I'm so freaking amazingly happy! I could scream! Except for, I can't really... I can only scream when something jumpy happens... like, surprise parties (You still all suck.) But, yeah, I'm amazingly, freaking awesomely, wickedly happy!
So, in the past week that I've been writing this plot, it started out as something simple and cutesy--a short story, then it turned into something a little more complicated--probably a novella, and then, it turned into such a complex story that it could very well be put into novel form, and, how I ended it, it's got plot enough, story enough, side plots enough to be at least have a sequel. And that is already being plotted. So, now you can see why I'm EXTREMELY happy. :D
Well, anyways, I've been having people read it, and, so far, I haven't received any complaints or suggestions... but, that's what I need, right? I need people to tell me just what it is I can do better before I can actually write this monster. So... that's what this blog is about, I need some help. If you could point out flaws or something that doesn't quite fit, let me know. (Oh, and I'm going to be rewriting everything I've got so far, too.)
Background Information:
Ana is fighting with her mom--Ana just got home from a party with some of Jason's friends that he suggested she hang out with (Jason was sick of her following him like a lost puppy.) Ana's drunk. Finally, fed up with all the fighting, Ana runs up to her room, packs some of her stuff in the closest bag she could find, and leaves through her window. She's running down the middle of the street, she hears her mom's car behind her. She runs faster--she grows tired and stops immediately, resting her hands on her knees. Her mother doesn't stop soon enough. Ana dies on the scene.
Prologue:
Ana writes in a notebook three weeks after her death explaining what she knows, and then she leaves the campus she was on.
Chapter One:
Kyle is introduced into the story, he's depressed. Sits at his desk, walks around his room. Whispers Ana's name and cringes at the sound of an engine in the distance.
Chapter Two:
Ana is brought to Kyle's room when he says her name. She's hurt to see him so sad and is almost mad at herself. She tries to talk to him, but he can't hear her. Ana blinks and finds herself in the study in her mom's house. Ana's father is passed out at the computer desk with a bottle of brandy or some strong alcohol by his hand. Her mother is throwing books. Ana shouts at her to stop and suddenly she feels very tired. Ana's mom apologizes to her and looks right at her. Her mother then falls unconscious.
Chapter Three:
Sick of all the drama, Ana follows Jason around from party to party. She's proud of him for being so strong and all that jazz. She loses him during the third party because she's pulled out by people gossiping about her death.
Chapter Four:
Ana tags along with Rylee to the gym like they used to every morning. Rylee is about to leave when Ana finally notices her starting to breakdown. Trying to make her feel better, Ana writes in the planner Rylee left open. "Keep holding on." In the end, it almost fades away, but Rylee reads it right before it does. She calls in sick to work and goes home to recuperate from her hallucination.
Chapter Five:
Ana checks in on her parents. Her father his still drinking away his life earnings, but her mother is in a more passive state than she was the night before. Guilt is clearly shown and radiating off of her while she cooks and cleans. Ana sits there and thinks for a while, wishing she could take back that one night... (Go into detail about her death, perhaps?)
Chapter Six:
Kyle is at school when he hears Jason talking about Ana--and not nice things either. Ana, obviously, is there and hears it, too. Jason is talking about how stupid Ana was to hang out with Rebecca and Richelle. Kyle loses it and socks him in the face. The principal just happens to be passing by, witnessing the fight. Now mad at Jason and proud of Kyle, Ana tries her hardest to get Kyle out of trouble, so, by focusing very hard and without realizing it, she possesses the principal and has him forget.
Chapter Seven:
Ana is brought to her mother when she gets into her car, trembling. She's mumbling about what an awful person she is for killing her own daughter and how she herself deserves to die. For a moment, Ana agrees, but then she takes it back. Her mother looks over at the passenger seat (where Ana is sitting) for a moment like she could see her again. In that moment, she doesn't pay attention and swerves into the wrong lane, getting hit head on by on coming traffic.
Chapter Eight:
Ana jumps into the ambulance as her mother is rushed to the hospital. Ana breaks down into sobs when one paramedic says that he doubts she'll make it. When they get to the hospital, doctors finally stabilize her mother. Ana follows the doctors to see what they have to say, but stops when she sees a man she recognizes. Well, doesn't recognize, but knows exactly who he is. That's when he approaches her and says, "I had a feeling you'd be here, Analynn."
Chapter Nine:
At first, Ana is astonished and speechless that someone is TALKING to her, actually conversing. The man introduces himself as Geoffry (last names mean nothing to the dead.) and answers some of Ana's questions--when he tells her than she needs to leave her family and friends so they can get over her death, she goes berserk. She's throwing a fit, trying to cause damage to the hospital, but the non living can't really cause damage to the living without a great amount of will and concentration. Geoffry stops her wrath by saying something harsh and reality biting like, "Analynn, you're the reason all of this is happening." or "You're going to kill everyone you love and cherish if you stay. Your mother might live if you leave. Now."
Chapter Ten:
Geoffry explains to Ana how their new world works--no living contact is their only rule. Not only does it put bad luck upon the living, it makes the nonliving fade away after a while. They call themselves "Free Spirits" because they died young, never really thought about death--so they're not bound to their graves like normies, and they didn't do anything that made them monument worthy, so they're not tied to those, either. When Ana asks what she's supposed to do about the times when she's dragged to certain people, he's quiet, but then tells her it's just because she's still grieving over her own death and she just needs to get over herself.
Chapter Eleven:
Back to Kyle, he's in his room, on his bed just staring at the ceiling. A month ago, he and Ana went ice skating, to the local amusement park with Rylee Dunlap, to the aquarium when they all sluffed for the first time. A month ago... It seemed like an eternity ago, a lifetime ago. Without Ana, Kyle sees no point in being the good guy anymore.
PART TWO (About six weeks later.)
Chapter Twelve:
Geoffry has taken Ana with him to his "class". She meets Tyler, Kendra, Marjorie, Sam, Schuyler, and Matt. She's fast friends (sorta) with everyone except for Kendra and Sam.
Chapter Thirteen:
Geoffry has Marjorie and Schuyler show Ana the ropes. They take her to the nearest graveyard where there's hundreds of people all spread out. Ana wonders what's going on, Marjorie (about twelve) explains that they're not people, that they're nonliving like themselves, just tied to their graves. Normies.
Chapter Fourteen:
In the middle of one of Geoffry's calming, out-of-mind sessions, Ana hears her name being called. She tries to ignore it like Geoffry says to, but finds herself in an unfamiliar, rundown, empty apartment. Well, empty all except for a couch, which Kyle is laying on. He looks very disheveled and unhealthy. He reeks of alcohol and he looks like he hasn't shaved in ages. He's too thin, there's dark circles under his sleeping eyes. Ana looks around to find several stolen goods. She decides then and there that she's going to help Kyle get back to where he was before.
Chapter Fifteen:
Ana starts out her plan by observing. Death has turned her into a mellow, peaceful, think-it-through person. But now, seeing Kyle, her best, BEST friend how he is, she loses some of her edge. She follows him into a club where she witnesses him buying drugs--the chat between seller and client is little, and soon Kyle's out and about again. He drives to some shady neighborhood where he buys a gun from a guy Ana decides looks like he could be right off of CSI or Law&Order. Kyle and she then return home. Kyle sets to work on writing something. Maybe a paper for his French class? No, school was over, it's July. When she reads over his shoulder, she realizes that it's a suicide note.
Chapter Sixteen:
"DON'T DO IT." Ana writes on the blank page after Kyle ripped out and tossed aside his first note.
Chapter Seventeen:
Kyle sees the note immediately, he watches as each letter appears. His reaction scares her. He screams and shouts and throws things around as he searches for his gun he had just purchased. He shoots his notebook several times until the gun is out of bullets--which he realizes when he tries to shoot himself in the head, but nothing happens. He collapses onto the ground throwing the gun as far away from him as possible. It had failed him. He's still sobbing when the cops show up and barge down the door and place him under arrest for trespassing a condemned property and opening fire without a license.
Chapter Eighteen:
Ana checks in on her parents, who seem to be doing much, much better than they were when she last saw them. Her mother's arm is in a cast because of the accident. She's resting on the couch in the front room and her father is waiting on her mother. When she steps closer, her mother breaks down but her father comforts her. Ana leaves not wanting to see her mom crying because of her. "You're doing this to them" Geoffry's voice echoes in her head. Ana, stubbornly, ignores it and goes to see Rylee. She's beyond fit--not an ounce of unwanted fat. She's asleep on the floor in her bedroom, her parents are arguing down in the kitchen about how all Rylee ever does anymore is exercise and sleep. Her grades are great, fantastic, but her social life is dead. As dead as Analynn herself. Ana leaves. Out of curiosity and pure deviant behavior, she goes to see Jason. He's as stubborn and conceited as ever, flirting with the poor girl behind the Starbucks counter. Ana focuses her hardest when the girl hands over his latte and is about to give him her number, too, when Ana possesses him, making him say something that captures his personality in Ana's eyes and then spills his drink on himself, burning his skin and staining his clothes.
Chapter Nineteen:
Ana goes back to where Geoffry and the others stayed, taking the human path which took much, much less than six weeks. Only Kendra, Sam, and Tyler are there. They glare at Ana as she approaches. They exchange snotty remarks and refuse to disclose where the others are. They hint that they faded away. Ana stumbles away from the scene.
Chapter Twenty:
Ana wanders the woods for a few days, feeling lost and alone. She causes her family and friends pain, and Schuyler, Geoffry, Marjorie, and Matt were just... gone.
Chapter Twenty-One:
Ana goes back to Kendra, Sam, and Tyler. She asks them again what happened to the others. They don't budge. She asks them again, this time with force. Kendra finally bargains that she'll tell her what happened if she tells them her secrets. When Ana says she has no clue what they're talking about, Tyler and Sam pin her down. "You know what we're talking about!" Struggle. "How do you do it?" Struggle. "How do you live, Analynn? How do you posses them! Don't say you don't know, Tyler saw you do it!"
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Kendra, Tyler, and Sam continue to try to get the information out of her, but she swears she doesn't know how she does it. Kendra then has Tyler and Sam carry her out from the deeper part of the woods to the busy highway. "Tell us, Analynn." Kendra orders. "Or several of these people here are going to die." "How? I thought you said you couldn't posses." Kendra punches her in the face, out of instinct. To Ana's surprise, it hurts. "We can hurt you Analynn, we're not alive." (Much more detail of course, that's just how I want it to flow pretty much.)
Chapter Twenty-Three:
And they do, they hurt her. ""Posses one of them, Analynn, you can get away from us if you do." Ana refuses. "Any minute now there's going to be a car crash, Analynn, we're not leaving until you either posses someone or you just fade away. Your choice." Ana didn't budge. She hears her name being whispered and realizes she's been ignoring it. She lets the name call out to her: When she opens her eyes again, she finds herself in a court house. Kyle is on trial and his mother is questioning the sanity of her son, blaming his mental un-wellness on Analynn's death.
Chapter Twenty-Four:
Ana wants to stay, to help Kyle, but she knows that it would be best for her to leave and let him find his own fate. So she leaves--again. She doesn't check in on Rylee, doesn't look for Jason (Although she was tempted.), and doesn't attempt to see her family. She just wanders aimlessly away from society.
Again.
Chapter Twenty-Five:
Time is meaningless when you're dead--and soon you lose track of it completely. This is what happens to Ana as she walks and walks, avoiding society without a conscious decision to do so.
So what do you think? What can I work on? What can I add? What'd you like? TELL ME! I NEED HELP BEFORE I START ACTUALLY WRITING THIS!!! HELP!!! Oh, right, and I need to finish putting the plot up. Silly me. :P
Chapter Twenty-Six:
"Ana? My god! Geoffry, it's Ana!" Schuyler screams as she sees Ana walking without emotion. Without a sound. "Ana!" Marjorie whispers. Ana finally lifts her head, her face blank, but then puts it back down and keeps walking. Matt and Geoffry run to catch up with her and restrain her. They're surprised when she doesn't resist. "We thought you'd faded away." Geoffry explains. She collapses into their arms as they tell her all that happened since they'd seen her last.
So, in the past week that I've been writing this plot, it started out as something simple and cutesy--a short story, then it turned into something a little more complicated--probably a novella, and then, it turned into such a complex story that it could very well be put into novel form, and, how I ended it, it's got plot enough, story enough, side plots enough to be at least have a sequel. And that is already being plotted. So, now you can see why I'm EXTREMELY happy. :D
Well, anyways, I've been having people read it, and, so far, I haven't received any complaints or suggestions... but, that's what I need, right? I need people to tell me just what it is I can do better before I can actually write this monster. So... that's what this blog is about, I need some help. If you could point out flaws or something that doesn't quite fit, let me know. (Oh, and I'm going to be rewriting everything I've got so far, too.)
Background Information:
Ana is fighting with her mom--Ana just got home from a party with some of Jason's friends that he suggested she hang out with (Jason was sick of her following him like a lost puppy.) Ana's drunk. Finally, fed up with all the fighting, Ana runs up to her room, packs some of her stuff in the closest bag she could find, and leaves through her window. She's running down the middle of the street, she hears her mom's car behind her. She runs faster--she grows tired and stops immediately, resting her hands on her knees. Her mother doesn't stop soon enough. Ana dies on the scene.
Prologue:
Ana writes in a notebook three weeks after her death explaining what she knows, and then she leaves the campus she was on.
Chapter One:
Kyle is introduced into the story, he's depressed. Sits at his desk, walks around his room. Whispers Ana's name and cringes at the sound of an engine in the distance.
Chapter Two:
Ana is brought to Kyle's room when he says her name. She's hurt to see him so sad and is almost mad at herself. She tries to talk to him, but he can't hear her. Ana blinks and finds herself in the study in her mom's house. Ana's father is passed out at the computer desk with a bottle of brandy or some strong alcohol by his hand. Her mother is throwing books. Ana shouts at her to stop and suddenly she feels very tired. Ana's mom apologizes to her and looks right at her. Her mother then falls unconscious.
Chapter Three:
Sick of all the drama, Ana follows Jason around from party to party. She's proud of him for being so strong and all that jazz. She loses him during the third party because she's pulled out by people gossiping about her death.
Chapter Four:
Ana tags along with Rylee to the gym like they used to every morning. Rylee is about to leave when Ana finally notices her starting to breakdown. Trying to make her feel better, Ana writes in the planner Rylee left open. "Keep holding on." In the end, it almost fades away, but Rylee reads it right before it does. She calls in sick to work and goes home to recuperate from her hallucination.
Chapter Five:
Ana checks in on her parents. Her father his still drinking away his life earnings, but her mother is in a more passive state than she was the night before. Guilt is clearly shown and radiating off of her while she cooks and cleans. Ana sits there and thinks for a while, wishing she could take back that one night... (Go into detail about her death, perhaps?)
Chapter Six:
Kyle is at school when he hears Jason talking about Ana--and not nice things either. Ana, obviously, is there and hears it, too. Jason is talking about how stupid Ana was to hang out with Rebecca and Richelle. Kyle loses it and socks him in the face. The principal just happens to be passing by, witnessing the fight. Now mad at Jason and proud of Kyle, Ana tries her hardest to get Kyle out of trouble, so, by focusing very hard and without realizing it, she possesses the principal and has him forget.
Chapter Seven:
Ana is brought to her mother when she gets into her car, trembling. She's mumbling about what an awful person she is for killing her own daughter and how she herself deserves to die. For a moment, Ana agrees, but then she takes it back. Her mother looks over at the passenger seat (where Ana is sitting) for a moment like she could see her again. In that moment, she doesn't pay attention and swerves into the wrong lane, getting hit head on by on coming traffic.
Chapter Eight:
Ana jumps into the ambulance as her mother is rushed to the hospital. Ana breaks down into sobs when one paramedic says that he doubts she'll make it. When they get to the hospital, doctors finally stabilize her mother. Ana follows the doctors to see what they have to say, but stops when she sees a man she recognizes. Well, doesn't recognize, but knows exactly who he is. That's when he approaches her and says, "I had a feeling you'd be here, Analynn."
Chapter Nine:
At first, Ana is astonished and speechless that someone is TALKING to her, actually conversing. The man introduces himself as Geoffry (last names mean nothing to the dead.) and answers some of Ana's questions--when he tells her than she needs to leave her family and friends so they can get over her death, she goes berserk. She's throwing a fit, trying to cause damage to the hospital, but the non living can't really cause damage to the living without a great amount of will and concentration. Geoffry stops her wrath by saying something harsh and reality biting like, "Analynn, you're the reason all of this is happening." or "You're going to kill everyone you love and cherish if you stay. Your mother might live if you leave. Now."
Chapter Ten:
Geoffry explains to Ana how their new world works--no living contact is their only rule. Not only does it put bad luck upon the living, it makes the nonliving fade away after a while. They call themselves "Free Spirits" because they died young, never really thought about death--so they're not bound to their graves like normies, and they didn't do anything that made them monument worthy, so they're not tied to those, either. When Ana asks what she's supposed to do about the times when she's dragged to certain people, he's quiet, but then tells her it's just because she's still grieving over her own death and she just needs to get over herself.
Chapter Eleven:
Back to Kyle, he's in his room, on his bed just staring at the ceiling. A month ago, he and Ana went ice skating, to the local amusement park with Rylee Dunlap, to the aquarium when they all sluffed for the first time. A month ago... It seemed like an eternity ago, a lifetime ago. Without Ana, Kyle sees no point in being the good guy anymore.
PART TWO (About six weeks later.)
Chapter Twelve:
Geoffry has taken Ana with him to his "class". She meets Tyler, Kendra, Marjorie, Sam, Schuyler, and Matt. She's fast friends (sorta) with everyone except for Kendra and Sam.
Chapter Thirteen:
Geoffry has Marjorie and Schuyler show Ana the ropes. They take her to the nearest graveyard where there's hundreds of people all spread out. Ana wonders what's going on, Marjorie (about twelve) explains that they're not people, that they're nonliving like themselves, just tied to their graves. Normies.
Chapter Fourteen:
In the middle of one of Geoffry's calming, out-of-mind sessions, Ana hears her name being called. She tries to ignore it like Geoffry says to, but finds herself in an unfamiliar, rundown, empty apartment. Well, empty all except for a couch, which Kyle is laying on. He looks very disheveled and unhealthy. He reeks of alcohol and he looks like he hasn't shaved in ages. He's too thin, there's dark circles under his sleeping eyes. Ana looks around to find several stolen goods. She decides then and there that she's going to help Kyle get back to where he was before.
Chapter Fifteen:
Ana starts out her plan by observing. Death has turned her into a mellow, peaceful, think-it-through person. But now, seeing Kyle, her best, BEST friend how he is, she loses some of her edge. She follows him into a club where she witnesses him buying drugs--the chat between seller and client is little, and soon Kyle's out and about again. He drives to some shady neighborhood where he buys a gun from a guy Ana decides looks like he could be right off of CSI or Law&Order. Kyle and she then return home. Kyle sets to work on writing something. Maybe a paper for his French class? No, school was over, it's July. When she reads over his shoulder, she realizes that it's a suicide note.
Chapter Sixteen:
"DON'T DO IT." Ana writes on the blank page after Kyle ripped out and tossed aside his first note.
Chapter Seventeen:
Kyle sees the note immediately, he watches as each letter appears. His reaction scares her. He screams and shouts and throws things around as he searches for his gun he had just purchased. He shoots his notebook several times until the gun is out of bullets--which he realizes when he tries to shoot himself in the head, but nothing happens. He collapses onto the ground throwing the gun as far away from him as possible. It had failed him. He's still sobbing when the cops show up and barge down the door and place him under arrest for trespassing a condemned property and opening fire without a license.
Chapter Eighteen:
Ana checks in on her parents, who seem to be doing much, much better than they were when she last saw them. Her mother's arm is in a cast because of the accident. She's resting on the couch in the front room and her father is waiting on her mother. When she steps closer, her mother breaks down but her father comforts her. Ana leaves not wanting to see her mom crying because of her. "You're doing this to them" Geoffry's voice echoes in her head. Ana, stubbornly, ignores it and goes to see Rylee. She's beyond fit--not an ounce of unwanted fat. She's asleep on the floor in her bedroom, her parents are arguing down in the kitchen about how all Rylee ever does anymore is exercise and sleep. Her grades are great, fantastic, but her social life is dead. As dead as Analynn herself. Ana leaves. Out of curiosity and pure deviant behavior, she goes to see Jason. He's as stubborn and conceited as ever, flirting with the poor girl behind the Starbucks counter. Ana focuses her hardest when the girl hands over his latte and is about to give him her number, too, when Ana possesses him, making him say something that captures his personality in Ana's eyes and then spills his drink on himself, burning his skin and staining his clothes.
Chapter Nineteen:
Ana goes back to where Geoffry and the others stayed, taking the human path which took much, much less than six weeks. Only Kendra, Sam, and Tyler are there. They glare at Ana as she approaches. They exchange snotty remarks and refuse to disclose where the others are. They hint that they faded away. Ana stumbles away from the scene.
Chapter Twenty:
Ana wanders the woods for a few days, feeling lost and alone. She causes her family and friends pain, and Schuyler, Geoffry, Marjorie, and Matt were just... gone.
Chapter Twenty-One:
Ana goes back to Kendra, Sam, and Tyler. She asks them again what happened to the others. They don't budge. She asks them again, this time with force. Kendra finally bargains that she'll tell her what happened if she tells them her secrets. When Ana says she has no clue what they're talking about, Tyler and Sam pin her down. "You know what we're talking about!" Struggle. "How do you do it?" Struggle. "How do you live, Analynn? How do you posses them! Don't say you don't know, Tyler saw you do it!"
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Kendra, Tyler, and Sam continue to try to get the information out of her, but she swears she doesn't know how she does it. Kendra then has Tyler and Sam carry her out from the deeper part of the woods to the busy highway. "Tell us, Analynn." Kendra orders. "Or several of these people here are going to die." "How? I thought you said you couldn't posses." Kendra punches her in the face, out of instinct. To Ana's surprise, it hurts. "We can hurt you Analynn, we're not alive." (Much more detail of course, that's just how I want it to flow pretty much.)
Chapter Twenty-Three:
And they do, they hurt her. ""Posses one of them, Analynn, you can get away from us if you do." Ana refuses. "Any minute now there's going to be a car crash, Analynn, we're not leaving until you either posses someone or you just fade away. Your choice." Ana didn't budge. She hears her name being whispered and realizes she's been ignoring it. She lets the name call out to her: When she opens her eyes again, she finds herself in a court house. Kyle is on trial and his mother is questioning the sanity of her son, blaming his mental un-wellness on Analynn's death.
Chapter Twenty-Four:
Ana wants to stay, to help Kyle, but she knows that it would be best for her to leave and let him find his own fate. So she leaves--again. She doesn't check in on Rylee, doesn't look for Jason (Although she was tempted.), and doesn't attempt to see her family. She just wanders aimlessly away from society.
Again.
Chapter Twenty-Five:
Time is meaningless when you're dead--and soon you lose track of it completely. This is what happens to Ana as she walks and walks, avoiding society without a conscious decision to do so.
So what do you think? What can I work on? What can I add? What'd you like? TELL ME! I NEED HELP BEFORE I START ACTUALLY WRITING THIS!!! HELP!!! Oh, right, and I need to finish putting the plot up. Silly me. :P
Chapter Twenty-Six:
"Ana? My god! Geoffry, it's Ana!" Schuyler screams as she sees Ana walking without emotion. Without a sound. "Ana!" Marjorie whispers. Ana finally lifts her head, her face blank, but then puts it back down and keeps walking. Matt and Geoffry run to catch up with her and restrain her. They're surprised when she doesn't resist. "We thought you'd faded away." Geoffry explains. She collapses into their arms as they tell her all that happened since they'd seen her last.
╰☆╮Mimi╰☆╮
